1The problem nobody shows you
When a Pons V2 launch opens, buying costs a 99% tax for three seconds. The creator can pre-register up to 32 wallets that pay none of it. Those wallets buy at zero, you buy at market, then they sell - and you're the bid.
The list of exempted wallets sits in the transaction that creates the token. It is public, permanent and readable by anyone. The Pons documentation describes one launch function and the list is one of its arguments. In practice there are four entry points, and 71% of launches come through one where the list is not in the documented call at all. A tool built from the docs reports "0 exemptions, clean" on exactly the launches that have them. VITALS decodes all four.
2The product
Paste any Pons V2 contract address into @vitalscheck_bot - in a DM, in a group, or inline from any chat. One second. Worst concern first, so the answer is in the first line.
Nine checks, every one read from the chain
- Who got in tax-free - wallets the creator exempted from the opening tax, decoded across all four entry points
- Creator opening buy - whether the creator bought in the transaction that created the token, and how much
- Deployer history - how many tokens this address has launched and how many survived a day
- Ticker collisions - matched after unicode normalisation
- Ticker vs pair asset - whether the launch wears the ticker of the asset on the other side of its own pool
- Creator tax - the cut taken from every trade, fixed at creation, against the median across the index
- Buyback vesting - whether the creator locked fees into a buyback; roughly one launch in two hundred
- Pair asset - what the launch is priced in and the risk it inherits from that asset
- Holder concentration - and the largest single wallet
Commands
/full every metric · /stats the index · image render for posting outside Telegram · /watch deployer 0x… DM when it launches again · /watch wallet 0x… DM when it lands on an exemption list · /watch filter buyback · /watching · /unwatch · /legend how to read a card
What it won't do
No score. No grade. No traffic light. A grade reads as a recommendation, and the day a graded launch goes to zero, that screenshot is the tool telling someone to buy.
Absence of a finding is never "clean". When the data can't support a negative, the card says undetermined and names the check. No median under 30 observations. Facts and their reference points. You make the call.
3Why a token
The scan is free and stays free. $VITALS exists for three reasons, and none of them is a promise about price.
- Access. Holding unlocks the tiers in section 7 - the same access non-holders pay ETH for.
- Routing. A fixed tax on every trade funds a treasury, the people who build and distribute the tool, and the integrations that put it in front of more traders. Every wallet is public.
- Alignment. The tool that exposes insider launches is launched in the open, on the launchpad it scans, and scanned by itself five minutes after it goes live.
$VITALS is not a claim on profits, revenue or assets, and it carries no governance. Holding it entitles you to access. Nothing else.
4The launch
| Venue | Pons V2 on Robinhood Chain (chain id 4663). Pair: ETH. |
|---|---|
| Supply | 1,000,000,000, all of it minted into the bonding curve. 5/7 sells on the curve. At graduation (4.2 ETH) 2/7 is swept: 10/49 seeds the permanently locked Uniswap v4 pool, 4/49 is locked forever in the Pons locker. Graduation lands at roughly 21 ETH fully diluted. |
| Presale | None. No allocations before launch. Nobody holds tokens before the curve opens. |
| Dev buy | At most 5% of supply, executed inside the launch transaction, from a deployer wallet with zero prior launches. Wallet published before launch. This is the only source of any team, crew or partnership tokens (section 6). |
| Opening-tax exemptions | The dev wallet only. The list is in the launch transaction; anyone can decode it, and the bot will. |
| Contract address | Does not exist before the launch transaction. It is posted and pinned in t.me/vitals_official three seconds after launch. Any "$VITALS" address that appears before that is fake; the bot deletes them. |
| Timing | 28 September 2026, 16:00 CEST, inside the Monday-Thursday 15:00-18:00 Europe/Bratislava window. The declaration is signed from the deployer wallet on 27 September and published at checkvitals.xyz/declared/001. |
| The room | BLOCK ZERO is three seats today: the deployer and two others, who say they are crew whenever they post. Seats are added after launch on what people actually did, never sold and never given for a payment. The CA goes into the room at T+3s, after the opening tax window, and reaches BLOCK ZERO and THE FLOOR in the same second. Every seat pays the same tax as everyone else. |
| T+15 min | The bot posts the card on its own token, as rendered: exempted wallets, creator opening buy, the 4% tax flag, holders, and every line that reads undetermined. /full for the detail. The first ledger with payout hashes follows at T+4h. |
5The 4% and where it goes
Pons charges a base fee on every trade that goes to the protocol. Separately, the creator sets a creator tax at creation that can never be changed; it is paid to the creator fee wallet on the curve and, after graduation, through the Pons hook. Both are readable on-chain.
$VITALS creator tax is 4%. Everything that wallet receives is creator income, and it divides three ways:
| Of each trade | Bucket | What it funds |
|---|---|---|
| 10% of creator income | The room | The table behind the launch. The room always receives the full 10%, split equally between the seats held that day. When a seat is added, the split is recomputed from that day's payout forward and printed with it, so nobody is diluted quietly. Paid in ETH. First payout four hours after launch, then once a day for 30 days, every transfer posted with its hash. |
| 10% of creator income | Ecosystem | Integrations and partnerships: trading bots, launchpads, wallets, explorers, data. The work that makes the read universal rather than ours. |
| 80% of creator income | The build | Infrastructure, team, marketing and the treasury. Nobody is paid from here for posting. |
The fee wallet and the treasury wallet are published before launch. The treasury does not trade $VITALS. Its rules are in section 8 and every trade it makes is posted with its hash. A ledger is posted in the group every week: income, pool payouts, treasury trades, treasury spend. Every transfer out of the treasury that is not a published-rule trade is announced 24 hours before it moves.
Why 4%
Because a token with a 0% tax has nothing behind it. This one funds the treasury, the people who distribute it and the integrations that grow it, out of turnover instead of out of holders. It is declared here, before launch, with the split. That is the standard we ask of every creator, and it is the standard we hold ourselves to.
For reference, the chain's own leaders carry a tax: Copper Inu launched with 4% and reached an eight-figure market cap within hours; Boomer runs 3%, Arbitrage Ape 3%, Route 2%. The tax was never the question. What it funds, and whether that is declared before launch, is.
$VITALS will carry that flag, with one line under it: declared before launch: 10% the room · 10% ecosystem · 80% the build · checkvitals.xyz/declared/001. The flag stays. The tool does not whitelist its own token, or anyone's. Declarations are explained in section 10.The room is paid for work delivered: posts, introductions, fixes, partners. Never for holding.
6Team, crew and partnership tokens - vesting
Nobody on the team or crew holds tokens that were not bought in the open. Any allocation to a team member, crew member or partner comes out of the declared dev buy and is placed in a verifiable vesting contract - OpenZeppelin VestingWallet, one per recipient, verified on the Robinhood Chain explorer:
- 30-day cliff, then linear release over 60 days
- recipient, amount and contract address published in the allocation table before launch
- partnership allocations release only against delivered integrations; each release is announced first
The full allocation table - mine, the team's, everyone's, with vesting schedules - is published before launch. On-chain and verifiable. Said early so you can hold me to it.
7Holder tiers
Tiers are access. They are checked live against your wallet's balance on Robinhood Chain and downgrade automatically when the balance falls. Ownership is proved once by signing a message; the bot never asks for keys.
| Tier | Hold | Unlocks |
|---|---|---|
| WATCH | ≥ 250,000 | /watch up to 10 targets (free: 3) |
| PREMIUM | ≥ 1,000,000 | Holder feed - every new Pons V2 launch delivered as a card within seconds of creation, with filters (exempt wallets, minimum buyers, pair asset, quiet hours) · unlimited /watch · unlimited image renders · priority queue · first room for crew launches (section 8) |
| DESK | ≥ 10,000,000 | Everything above · one group licence (premium commands for every member of a group you register) · index exports · direct line to the team |
Non-holders can buy PREMIUM for 0.05 ETH per 30 days - the same access, paid in ETH - or pay in $VITALS at a 20% discount, in which case the tokens go to the treasury wallet and the transaction is posted. Holders get it while they hold. That is the utility: the token is a key to something people already pay for.
Thresholds can be lowered as the market cap grows, never raised. Any change is announced seven days ahead.
8Reasons to hold that are not price
- The feed. PREMIUM holders see every new Pons V2 launch as a card, in their DM, seconds after it exists, before the first post. The card, not the call, is the edge.
- The treasury under the token. Creator income splits 10% to the room, 10% to ecosystem integrations and 80% to the build, which includes the treasury. The treasury is funded by sweeps from the fee wallet, every sweep recorded with its hash. It may hold up to 10% of its ETH in other Robinhood Chain tokens; positions are discussed in the room, executed and signed by one wallet, and every trade is posted with its hash within the hour. Realized gains return to the treasury and count as income, so the room receives its 10% through the same ledger. It does not trade
$VITALS. One signer, no other wallets, no OTC. Not a distribution to holders. - Referrals. Bring users and earn a share of what they pay, in ETH, for as long as they pay (section 9). Referred holders also lift your tier.
- Declarations and the launch room. Any creator can run their pre-launch group on the bot - registered wallets, countdown, CA pin, self-scan - and publish a signed declaration (section 10). Declaring is a PREMIUM feature: hold 1,000,000
$VITALSor pay 0.05 ETH. Every honest launch on Robinhood Chain holds$VITALS. - Crew launches. More launches will come from this crew. The room stays open between them and the CA reaches everyone in it in the same second. Some launches will die. The room is where you watch one, not a guarantee.
- No new supply, ever. Everything paid to the bot in
$VITALS- premium, group licences - goes to the treasury wallet, and the transaction is posted. Nothing is minted.
What we copied from Banana Gun, and what we didn't
Banana Gun is the reference for a trading-bot token that works: referral links that pay from referees' fees, credits bought by burning the token, and a rewards model that turned users into holders. We copied the referrals, the paid credits and the user-to-holder loop.
We did not copy the 40% fee distribution to holders. Paying holders a share of revenue for holding is what turns a token into a financial instrument in the jurisdictions we operate in, and it is what makes a screenshot of the dashboard a promise. Our fees go into the treasury and building instead. Holding gets you access and the room. It does not get you a dividend.
9Referrals
One program today.
| Program | How | You get |
|---|---|---|
| The room (first 30 days) | A seat in BLOCK ZERO. No upfront payment in either direction: nobody buys a seat and nobody is paid to post. | An equal share of the room pool: 10% of creator income for 30 days, split between the seats held that day. Seats are earned after a launch, on what people actually did. ETH, paid daily, every payout with its hash. |
Bot referrals are on the roadmap and are not live. Nothing is paid for a referral today.
10Declared launches
A creator who declares their launch before it happens - dev buy, exemption list, creator tax and its split, vesting for any team tokens - gets a declared: line on their card under each relevant check, signed by the deployer wallet and timestamped before the launch transaction.
How it works
- Before launch, the creator opens
/declarein a DM with the bot (or inside their own launch group). The bot asks six things: deployer wallet, planned dev buy, exemption list, creator tax and its split, vesting for any team tokens, docs link. - The creator signs the resulting text from the deployer wallet. The bot stores it with the block number, so the timestamp proves it came first.
- When that wallet launches, the bot matches deployer → declaration and prints the
declared:lines on every card for that token. It also compares the declaration with the launch transaction: any mismatch - more exempt wallets, a bigger dev buy, a different tax - is a finding of its own.
- Declaring is a PREMIUM feature: hold 1,000,000
$VITALSat the time of declaring, or pay 0.05 ETH. The declaration is free to read for everyone. - Flags never disappear. A declaration adds context next to a finding; it does not remove it.
- The same bot runs the creator's pre-launch group: registered wallets, countdown, contract address pinned at launch, fake addresses deleted, the launch scanned by the bot five minutes in. That launch room is free for any group.
$VITALSis the first declared launch. Its declaration is this page.
The effect over time: honest creators declare, the declared line becomes the thing they post, and the launches that won't declare say something by not declaring.
11Roadmap - what's coming next
Everything here is a target, not a promise. Dates are not published; shipped work is. Bad news comes from us first, within 24 hours.
Now
Pons V2 on Robinhood Chain. Nine checks, /watch, image cards, the index.
Next 30 days
- Holder feed and tiers (section 7), referrals (section 9)
- Related tokens with data on the card, not just names
- Declared launches and the launch room for any Pons group (section 10): registered wallets, countdown, CA pin, fake-CA guard, self-scan - free
- Group card v2: market data under the findings - market cap and ATH, liquidity, volume, top holders - plus a first-caller line and group leaderboards
- Public index dashboard on checkvitals.xyz - exemptions, survival rates, creator-tax medians, live
Next 90 days
- Every launchpad on Robinhood Chain, not only Pons: one launch-intelligence layer for the whole chain
- Arc and other chains where the same launch mechanics appear
- Trading-bot integrations. The Telegram trading bots already route Robinhood Chain volume; the largest reports over half a million users and the category serves millions of traders. The integration is one line: a VITALS read inside the buy confirmation, before the trade executes. That puts the check in front of millions of traders without asking any of them to install anything. Each integration is a delivered milestone with its own announcement; partnership tokens release only against it.
- API and data licences for desks, launchpads and wallets
The measure of success is not a market cap. It is how many trades on Robinhood Chain are preceded by a VITALS read.
12Transparency commitments
- Deployer wallet with zero prior history, published before launch.
- Full allocation table with vesting contracts, published before launch.
- Dev buy inside the launch transaction, nowhere else. Exemption list: dev wallet only.
- Fee wallet and treasury wallet public. Treasury trades only by the published rules. Weekly ledger in the group.
- Every treasury transfer announced 24 hours before it moves.
- The launch is scanned by its own tool, publicly, five minutes after it goes live. The flag on its own tax stays on the card.
- Bad news from us first, within 24 hours.
- We ship, then we tell you. No dated roadmap.
13Risks
$VITALSis a meme token with a working product attached. It can go to zero. Most launches do.- Liquidity at graduation is thin - about 4.2 ETH plus the seeded supply. Early trades move the price violently in both directions.
- The 4% creator tax applies to every trade, including yours, on the way in and on the way out.
- The treasury wallet may sell into strength by its published rules. That is supply, and it is public.
- Robinhood Chain gas subsidies end at the end of September 2026; transaction costs change after that.
- Room payouts are for work delivered. Holding entitles you to access tiers and nothing else - no revenue, no profit share, no governance.
- Payouts in ETH or tokens are taxable income in most jurisdictions at the moment of receipt.
- Nothing on this page or from the bot is investment advice. The bot reports findings and reference points; it does not predict.
14FAQ
Is there a presale or whitelist?
No. The only way to get $VITALS is to buy it on the curve after the contract address is pinned.
How do I get ready?
Bridge ETH to Robinhood Chain (Maestro /relay, Jumper, or the Arbitrum bridge; gas is paid in ETH) and be in the room before 16:00 CEST. There is nothing to register and nothing to send anyone. The CA is posted in the room at T+3s and reaches everyone in it in the same second.
Why 4% and not zero?
Zero funds nothing: no treasury, no room, no integrations. 4% is declared here with its split, and the bot flags it on our own card like it would on anyone's. See sections 5 and 10.
Who gets the room pool?
Everyone in the room who did something in that period: a post, an introduction, a fix, a partner, a call. Split by shares, in ETH, daily, on a public ledger. Not holders.
Can the team dump?
Team and crew tokens only exist inside vesting contracts with a 30-day cliff. The addresses are published. The bot watches them like any other wallet.
Is 1,000,000 $VITALS a lot?
It is 0.1% of supply. At graduation it costs a fraction of one ETH. PREMIUM is meant to be reachable for hundreds of wallets, not tens, which is why the threshold is 1M and not 10M - and why it can only ever be lowered.
Why ETH as the pair?
Every Robinhood Chain trader already holds it for gas, trading bots route it by default, and the graduation threshold is known. A stock-token pair would add a swap for every buyer and inherit that token's liquidity risk.
Does the tool work on other launchpads?
Not yet. Every Robinhood Chain launchpad is the 90-day target.
Where does everything land first?
t.me/vitals_official. No announcement channel, no date being sold.